


A Jar of Pickles

by HopelesslyUnfinished



Category: The Orville (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24982567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopelesslyUnfinished/pseuds/HopelesslyUnfinished
Summary: "Hey, Alara, care to open this jar of pickles?" She wrestled the door open and they all rushed through. Ed flashed her a proud smile, which caught her off guard. Most guys just glared or ignored her for using her strength, why did he seem so... impressed? And more importantly, what exactly is a pickle and why of all receptacles is it kept in a jar that humans can't open?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	A Jar of Pickles

A Jar of Pickles  
"Hey, Alara, care to open this jar of pickles?"  
She wrestled the door open and they all rushed through. Ed flashed her a proud smile, which caught her off guard. Most guys just glared or ignored her for using her strength, why did he seem so... impressed? And more importantly, what exactly is a pickle and why of all receptacles is it kept in a jar that humans can't open?  
________________________________________  
"Dr. Finn, can I speak with you?"  
The doctor looked up from her desk, strewn with data pads, looking exhausted. She gave her a weary smile and waved her closer.  
"What's wrong, Alara?"  
"I... it's really nothing. I can come back later since you're busy."  
"It's okay, I need a break from all this research any way. Are you hurt?"  
"Oh, no, I just am researching an Earth custom and wondered if you could point me in the right direction. What are you studying?"  
"This? It's a mess of dead languages that I'm translating for a colleague. You take one course in scienctific latin and all of a sudden everyone's your best friend. Now what's your question?"  
"It's nothing, just what exactly is a 'pickle'?"  
"It's cucumis sativus fermented in a sodium chloride solution or diluted acetic acid otherwise known as..."  
An alarm began to sound and Alara was summoned to the bridge, thanking the doctor as she ran out the door.  
________________________________________  
"Alara, this jar of pickles needs opening."  
She easily pushed the door and the surrounding wall out of the way. She was about to question the phrase when she caught him beaming at her again as he followed the team into the enemy base.  
________________________________________  
"Isaac?"  
"Yes, Alara?"  
"Do you know if there is any way you could find me an image of a cucumis sativus?"  
Isaac scanned through his database before displaying an image of a three dimensional green tube.  
"That's it?"  
"From all indications, it appears to be an organic Earth plant."  
"Ah, I see," she said despite becoming more confused, "could you send me a report on it's characteristics?"  
"Done. May I ask what purpose this is for?"  
"A personal matter, Isaac. Thank you."  
________________________________________  
"Please be more specific" said a computerized voice.  
"I can't!" shouted Alara at the synthesizer.  
"Woah, Alara, what's going on?"  
John and Gordon had come around the corner to find her almost in tears from frustration.  
"I can't figure out what I'm looking for so the computer won't make it."  
"That's kind of the point of computers," said John concernedly, "Y'know, input, output, that sort of thing."  
"Yea, if a food synth could read my mind, I'd be in AA and living in the gym," quipped Gordon.  
"Maybe if you give us some clues, we can help narrow your search?"  
She looked up at them slightly embaressed. She knew she must have seemed like a mess if these two were being kind. Might as well take them up on it, seeing as they were human.  
"Well, it's from Earth, cylindrical, full of seeds, and about six inches long."  
"Only six?"  
"Well, apparently it can grow from anywhere between two inches and two feet, depending on the type."  
The guys exchanged a look that was a weird mixture of concern, interest, and their usual mischief.  
"Are you sure it's something you get in a synthesizer?"  
"It's human and organic, why wouldn't it be able to be produced?"  
John gave Gordon a meaningful look and adressed Alara tactfully.  
"Is it, maybe, just attached to something else?"  
"Oh! You mean the vine it grows on?"  
They both looked relieved.  
"You're looking for a plant?" asked Gordon.  
"Yes, an Earth organism. It's green and grows on a vine."  
"Yea, we thought you were looking for an Earth organ." John and Gordon high-fived about... whatever they had in their heads.  
"Any way, Alara, it sounds like you might be looking for some sort of squash or melon..."  
The first officer's voice came in over their comms.  
"Gordon, John, I know you're in your off time, but could you come up to the bridge to check out this anomaly? We may need your help with it."  
"On our way."  
________________________________________  
She couldn't hear Ed from inside the atmospheric suit since the communication link failed, but she watched as he mimed twisting open a container and gestured to the door with his thumb. She sighed internally and went to work pulling the gateway off its hinges.  
________________________________________  
"Yaphit, do you know what a sodium solution is?"  
She held up the next tool to the open hatch and his tendril pulled it in.  
"It's salt water."  
Loud clanging came from within the machine followed by a slurping suction sound.  
"What about diluted acetic acid?"  
"Sounds like... uh... vinegar? What is this? Ask the gelatinous fellow about other fluids day?"  
A final loud slurp came from the hatch as Yaphit emerged.  
"Wait, is there a unscheduled chemical test for engineering again?"  
"What? No, that one was on the books for months, it's just that no one read the memo. I was just curious about some words I'd overheard."  
"Gotcha."  
The other end of Yaphit came into view dragging a giant ball of oily sludge from where it had clogged the main engine.  
"Thanks for the help, Alara. Sometimes there's just not enough of me to go around."  
________________________________________  
It was late in the cycle when the captain showed up at her door. He seemed to have a habit of not falling asleep and roaming until it he found a kindred spirit in sleeplessness. Once she ascertained that he was not there on a security matter, she accepted his invitation to hang out in his cabin. She dropped onto his couch as he went to synth some snacks.  
"Hey Alara, care to open..."  
She put her hands in her hair in frustration.  
"Alara, what's wrong?"  
"I don't understand your metaphor. I've never understood your metaphor. I can't get any one on this ship to give me any logical explanation as to what you are referencing when..."  
A small glass jar waved into view in front of her, held by the captain.  
"A jar of pickles. A pickle is cucumber left in a sealed jar of brine to make it taste different after a while."  
She took the jar out of his hand.  
"Part of the process of preserving it from bacteria is heating the jar once it's sealed, so when it cools, the suction on the lid makes it infamously difficult to open."  
Alara twisted the lid gently and open the jar.  
"It's just food," he said, taking one out and biting into it, "but there's a lot of respect to whoever can open the jar, so everyone can share."  
"So, when you ask me to 'open the jar of pickles', it's because you know I'm strong enough?"  
"Basically. I know you have a very useful skill and I'm happy you get the opportunity to show it off."  
She set the jar on the table.  
"It's nothing really. Just a difference of gravity, besides, I know a lot of the crew finds it strange."  
"Alara, not one single person of average human strength, heck, even most of the stronger species on this ship, can do what you do. That makes you special and useful and I'm proud of what you're able to accomplish. If they're jealous, then tell them to go find a different level gravity and get out of your way."  
She chuckled and reached for one of the pickles, taking a bite. It was sour, but not terrible, probably a taste you get used to over time. She took another bite.  
"Ed?"  
"Yea?"  
"John and Gordon seemed to think I was looking for something else the dimensions of a cucumber. Do you know why they'd act strangely about that?"


End file.
